I wonder if I’ll tire…

I wonder if I’ll tire of fearing commitment,

and of making minimal commitments in order to convince myself I don’t.

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I wonder if I’ll tire of sabotaging my happiness through hyper-analyzation.

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I wonder if I’ll tire of subconsciously trying to model my behavior around the misogynistic manic pixie dream girl trope.

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I wonder if I’ll tire of dabbling in everything, to avoid facing my mediocrity in the things I love.

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I wonder if I’ll tire of using self deprecation to simultaneously reveal and mask my insecurities.

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I wonder if I’ll tire of breaking my own heart.

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But most of all, I wonder if any of this matters: we’re all imperfect, slowly marching towards our collective deaths.

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I wonder.